


Attack of the Nejim

by Notsalony



Category: Naruto
Genre: Complete, Crack Fic, Crack Pairing, Embarrassment, Finished, Forced Nudity, Humiliation, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, One Off, One Shot, Other, Penis Size Speculation, Penis Speculation, Public Nudity, Public Sex, Wet Dream, done, shadow clones, trickery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 05:27:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14395263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notsalony/pseuds/Notsalony
Summary: The boys go out on a little trip into the city that makes them question Neji’s sexual development and the nature of his sexual release.





	Attack of the Nejim

**Author's Note:**

> Nejim is the plural of Neji. Why? Why isn’t it Nejies. Because my brother told me! -SNICKERS- Yeah... we’re playing Naruto: Clash of Ninja 2 ... and every little bit we come up with ideas and things and it’s being wonderful to my fics.
> 
> Crack pairing doesn’t cover this.... well enough. Introducing super crack.

“Naruto... why do you insist in picking these... _movies_... if they can be called such.” Neji glared at the offending movie poster.  Naruto always took the opportunity to pick these cheesy monster movies when it was his turn to pick the groups’ movie night movie.   
  
“Because they rock.” Naruto said around a mouth full of popcorn.   
  
“You... are hopeless.” Neji shook his head and walked on with Lee, Shikamaru, and Sasuke.   
  
“Hey, I’m not hopeless.  I’m special!”   
  
“You said it... not us.” Shikamaru said under his breath.   
  
“Whatever Naruto.  Just... stop subjecting us to these movies... PLEASE?” Neji turned on his heel to look at Naruto.   
  
“Nothing says you have to come.” Naruto pouted.   
  
“Sit at home alone on a Saturday night and hear my uncle ‘ _polishing the family sword_ ’ I think not.” Neji shuddered.   
  
“Dude, your uncle jerks off?” Sasuke made a face.   
  
“Incessantly.” Neji closed his eyes to the memory.   
  
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at Hiashi with a straight face again...” Shikamaru shuddered.   
  
“What’s so bad about him beating off?” Naruto shrugged.   
  
~ _chirp_ ~   
  
The other four boys turning and staring at him as if he’d truly lost his mind this time.   
  
“What?” Naruto stopped and looked at them lost.   
  
“He’s old for one.” Sasuke said in utter disbelief that he was explaining this on the main road of the village.   
  
“And he has a family.” Lee nodded.   
  
“And he’s a clan leader.” Neji added.   
  
“I just think it’s gross he does it where you can hear it.” Shikamaru shrugged.   
  
“Okay, so you’re telling me when you get old you’re just going to stop?” Naruto turned to Sasuke.   
  
“I don’t beat off.” Sasuke said sullenly.   
  
“Oh and I’m a natural Red head.” Naruto rolled his eyes.   
  
“I don’t!” Sasuke said hotly his face blushing.   
  
“Sasuke... if you don’t jerk off, then what do you call it when I walked in on you and you were shooting your load.” Naruto challenged.   
  
“You never...” Sasuke started.   
  
“Shadow clone.”   
  
“But how do you....?”   
  
“When you kill a shadow clone the person who cast it knows exactly what the clone went through.” Shikamaru added his two cents worth.   
  
“Damn it.” Sasuke glared at Naruto.   
  
“Well you didn’t answer when I knocked... I thought something might be wrong.” Naruto smirked.  “Apparently things were REALLY, REALLY good.” He smirked and dodged Sasuke’s attempt at hitting him.   
  
“You blonde dobe.” Sasuke muttered under his breath.   
  
“It’s okay Sasuke, everyone masturbates.”   
  
“Thanks.  That makes me feel SO much better.” Sasuke covered his face and sighed.   
  
“What?  They do?” Naruto turned to the others.  “I know Shikamaru does.” He nodded and watched him blush.   
  
“And just how would you know that.”   
  
“You really need to do it somewhere other than outdoors.” Naruto said as if he was the expert on such things.   
  
“Right.” Shikamaru shot him a dirty look.   
  
“But that’s two down.  Two to go.” He looked at Neji and Lee.  “Neji... I’m not so sure about.  Lee though....”   
  
“What do you mean you’re not so sure?” Neji narrowed his eyes.   
  
“It’s just... you’re too tightly wound up... I don’t think you’ve ever gotten off.”   
  
“I’ve gotten off; I’ve probably gotten off more then you!” Neji yelled and then realized people up and down the road were looking at him.  Blushing horribly he shut up.   
  
“Thanks for confirming it.” Naruto gave a shit eating grin.  “Now as I was saying.  Lee...” He looked Lee up and down.  “You’re trained to use your muscles.  So I’m assuming Guy hasn’t forgotten your training on your love muscle....” Naruto leaned close and whispered something into Lee’s ear.  Lee went five shades of red before looking at Naruto.   
  
“How do you know that?” His eyes wide.   
  
“It pays to have insomnia and go walking along the beach.” Naruto shrugged and grinned again.  “And just so you know, I like to do it with my windows open.” Naruto shrugged.  “I’m not ashamed of my body.  But sadly... none of us know the shame of being Neji.” Naruto sided.   
  
“Excuse me?” Neji looked at him.   
  
“Yes.. We must take the time to remember the shame of being Neji.” Naruto transformed into Neji.  “Yes... the shame.” He opened his robe to reveal Neji’s naked body only with no penis.  “The poor bastard never used it... so it just went away....”   
  
“What the hell?” Neji gasped.   
  
“Oh that’s not it.” Lee transformed into Neji.  “I’m sure he has more than that.” Lee Neji opened his robe to reveal a twenty-two-inch monster hanging between his thighs.   
  
“Oh holy fuck...” Neji’s jaw dropped.   
  
“There’s no way he has that kind of thing.” Sasuke rolled his eyes as he became Neji himself.  Opening his robes he revealed a two-inch boner that was totally hairless.  “THIS is what Neji looks like naked.”   
  
“I do not!”   
  
“Naw... I’d say it something more like...” Shikamaru transformed and opened his Neji robes to reveal a shrived up old man’s cock.  “This.” He shrugged.   
  
“I do not!” Neji stood there in shock as their cloths evaporated.   
  
“Which is it Neji?” Naruto Neji asked.  “What kind of cock do you have?  Is it hideous?  Is it beautiful?  Is it big?  Is it small?  Or are you afraid we’ll find out you have none at all?” Naruto Neji smirked and moved closer.  They pack of them moving closer and closer all the time.  Then as a group they reached out and began to pull off Neji’s clothes. Sometimes tearing, sometimes simply evaporating sections.  Till he lay exposed on the street, his bare ass up in the air.   
  
“Someone turn him over!” Lee Neji called out as the group turned him over to reveal a seven-inch boner throbbing with need.   
  
“Looks like someone needs to get off...” Naruto Neji smirked; he shadow cloned his Neji form, each with Neji’s cock now in place.  “And we’re the army to get it done....”   
  
Neji woke up screaming and cumming at the same time. The tent in his sheets evidence enough that he’d enjoyed the humiliation, his secret shame.  The seeping stain of his cum was just a more vivid reminder that he liked to be topped.   
  
a


End file.
